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This was overall very good, though sometimes confusing. It was confusing because of the language and at times could have just used a better explaination of Lewis’s ideas. Specifically Lewis’s understanding of time and why I can kill my grandfather.
I thought this was a good essay overall. I think you could do a better job explaining the difference from a two dimensional plane of time from a fourth dimensional plane of time in your second paragrah. I found this to be a bit confusing. There are also a few grammar mistakes you may want to look it but that is a very minor detail.
If would be helpful for the reader if you explicitly stated what you were going to argue in the beginning of your paper. You do a good job of starting the subject matter of the paper at the beginning, but it would be helpful if you provided your thesis in a more firm manner. The paper as a whole could use more discussion and information in general. In other words, after initially reading the paper, it seemed a bit incomplete.
The overall argument for this essay is not very clear. Some of the examples from other papers are well articulated, however they do not make much sense in regards to the essay’s objective.
Starting paragraph was clear although you could cut your sentence down and add your thesis and bring it to point. I got a little bit confused on the way. It seems your arguments are god but if you could add a little bit more examples of your own to support your viewpoint then it will help strengthen your opinion within the paper.
April 25th, 2013 at 4:09 pm
This was overall very good, though sometimes confusing. It was confusing because of the language and at times could have just used a better explaination of Lewis’s ideas. Specifically Lewis’s understanding of time and why I can kill my grandfather.
April 25th, 2013 at 7:27 pm
I thought this was a good essay overall. I think you could do a better job explaining the difference from a two dimensional plane of time from a fourth dimensional plane of time in your second paragrah. I found this to be a bit confusing. There are also a few grammar mistakes you may want to look it but that is a very minor detail.
April 25th, 2013 at 10:03 pm
If would be helpful for the reader if you explicitly stated what you were going to argue in the beginning of your paper. You do a good job of starting the subject matter of the paper at the beginning, but it would be helpful if you provided your thesis in a more firm manner. The paper as a whole could use more discussion and information in general. In other words, after initially reading the paper, it seemed a bit incomplete.
April 26th, 2013 at 12:13 am
The overall argument for this essay is not very clear. Some of the examples from other papers are well articulated, however they do not make much sense in regards to the essay’s objective.
April 26th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Starting paragraph was clear although you could cut your sentence down and add your thesis and bring it to point. I got a little bit confused on the way. It seems your arguments are god but if you could add a little bit more examples of your own to support your viewpoint then it will help strengthen your opinion within the paper.